Saturday, December 3, 2011
I work the day shift on Saturdays and Sundays so that I can spend weekend nights hanging out with my wife. On my way to work today I stopped at Subway to get lunch. I don't usually get chips with my sandwich (and never a drink, no, never) but today I knew I needed something to eat in the car on the way to work, I was hungrier than a Biggest Loser Contestant on day 2.
So I got some Baked Lays because chips are shitty for you but Baked Lays are slightly less shitty. The bag proclaimed "New look, same great taste!!"
New look, same great taste, eh? This opened my floodgates of wonder. First of all, who cares what the package of the Baked Lays looks like at all? Who even eats Baked Lays? Oh yeah, dumb people, more specifically, dumb fat people. A dumb fat person says, 'Well I love chips but I think they're bad for me, but wait, Baked Lays! They must be healthy, right? Of course, now shut up brain, let's go watch NCIS: CSI: San Francity of Angels'
OK, next, new look, same great taste. (WARNING: Sarcasm ahead) Oh, phew, I saw the new look and was like new look!!?! They better not have messed with the taste, I love the stale taste of fake seasoning that I can't actually enjoy because I'm watching my calorie intake. Oh, good, it has the same great taste, my heart rate is slowing back to it's normal, high blood pressure addled state.
Anyway, Baked Lays if you want to advertise on my blog hit me up, I love the Sour Cream and Onion ones.
P.S. I say Biggest Loser Contestant on Day 2 because on Day 1 either they pigged out at the first temptation or you know they probably went wild at a Golden Corral or something before they checked into the ranch. It's like on Intervention when the addict goes balls out before getting on the plane for treatment. So Day 2 the BLs are like damn, I can only eat this Jennie O ground turkey or whatever? Where's Bob at with my weight control Oatmeal?